Filed under: Keepin it Real Nerdy, Loss For Words, Retarded Things, Stuff That's Weird, WTF
We all knew this was coming, and it’s finally here–the iMaxi iPad Case. This is for the person that enjoys overdone jokes and is desperate to get a laugh or two from the observing public, but probably won’t.
from ETSY
“Introducing Hip Handmaids’ exclusive iMaxi—the only Apple iPad case made with protective wings!
With its durable vinyl outer layer and plush, quilted-cotton sleeve, the iMaxi helps keep your iPad clean and dry. Plus, the iMaxi’s Velcro-latched, advanced wing design wraps snugly around your device, so your iPad always stays where it should. Best of all, it shields it from all those unsightly and embarrassing data leaks that would make any motherboard worry!
Each handmade iMaxi can be easily customized to fit your active lifestyle. Choose from white, white/red, or all-red interior options. Or if you don’t see a color you like, just ask! We can even use red thread on the interior for that special…uh…“lived in” look.”
Visit the product page if you’re interested in buying one. In my honest opinion, it looks more like an adult diaper than a maxi pad. So not only are you offending women who are on their menstrual cycle, you’re also offending the elderly, who could easily mistake your iMaxi for their own personal toilet on the go. Enjoy that train wreck when it happens.
Warning: Driving this car will make hot women want to have sex with you, and maybe men too.
from MyModernMet
“Russian design student Slavche Tanevski must have been commissioned by Bruce Wayne. Named after a breed of black-haired bull, the Lamborghini Ankonian looks worthy of becoming the next Batmobile.
The Ankonian features a series of winged panels that appear to be carved from some type of metal obsidian alloy. OLED lights are built directly into the narrow and rather complex-looking body, giving the supercar concept an aggressive look.”
Check out more pics after the jump.
Filed under: Awesome Shit, Keepin it Real Nerdy, Loss For Words, Neat Things, Stuff That's Weird
from Gamma Squad
“Jem Stansfield, host of BBC1’s “Bang Goes The Theory,” built two sucker pads (similar to a Gekkomat) out of two regular vacuums, then scaled a 30 ft wall at a school during the Brighton Science Festival Programme (pictures below) and then nearly succeeded in scaling a 100-foot-tall aluminum building (videos below). He may also be a superhero”
Filed under: In the News, Loss For Words, People Who are Bat Shit Insane, Retarded Things, WTF, You're Lame
Peter Montenegro, the homely gentleman pictured above, was arrested Wednesday for the attempted murder and robbery of Amarjit Kaur, the kind neighborhood ice cream truck driver. That isn’t a mugshot you’re looking at, that’s his fucking high school photo. Look how mean he looks–and the kid’s only 15. Can you imagine how terrible he’ll be when he’s 25? First it’s ice cream trucks, then pretty soon it’ll be luxury cars parked outside the local liquor store, because this kid’s got nothing going for him. I’m thinking that good parenting is in short supply.
from KCRA
“At about 2:41 p.m. Feb. 3, Vallejo police responded to a report of a woman slumped behind the steering wheel of an ice cream truck in the area of Springs Road at Castlewood Drive.
The truck was near Springstowne Middle School, where Kaur apparently regularly sold ice cream.
According to a detective, Montenegro and another boy allegedly demanded money from Kaur.
The detective said Kaur, a recent immigrant who did not speak English well, had trouble understanding their demands and was shot when the boys thought she was not responding quickly enough.”
Who the fuck robs ice cream trucks? Ice cream trucks, puppies, public access television, and babies are the only decent things we have left these days. He could have easily just robbed a strip club, or run an underground gambling rig in his basement. The possibilities are endless. Tsk tsk.
Filed under: Ain't Lyin', Loss For Words, People Who are Bat Shit Insane, Retarded Things, WTF, You're Lame
When two guys get into a fight, I think the last thing to cross their minds is to take their fingers, and grab the shit out of the other dude’s testicles. Not only is that a really fucking lame move, it’s also against man law. No matter how heated a physical altercation gets, you never, never, EVER, go below the belt. Unless of course you’re a pussy and have the temper of a five year old.
from Keys Net
“Y Le, 27, who lives at the home on Starfish Lane on Sugarloaf Key where the bash was taking place, was reportedly trying to get people to leave because it was late, around 2 a.m.
Another man, 42-year-old Vinh Pham of Key West, said he was playing cards when Le told him to leave, and he got angry. That’s when the two men started arguing and the melee erupted.
At one point, Le attacked Pham with a beer bottle, cutting his face. Pham then punched Le, dislocating his jaw.
As the fight continued, Pham reportedly put Le in a chokehold; Le, in turn, grabbed Pham’s testicles, “puncturing them with his fingers,” Herrin said.”
Testicle grabbing is reserved for women, children, and police dogs. Way to go, Le–you just lost respect from men everywhere. I’ll be sure to mail you a tampon, a coloring book, and a milk-bone as soon as I can. Those should satisfy all the dimensions of your lost man-hood.
A girl, who was in a knife fight with her boyfriend and ex-lover (classy), found out she was pregnant after she realized that her stomach pains were caused by a fucking baby round-housing the shit out of her stomach. How can someone with no reproductive organs still be able to conceive a child? By conventional means, this girl is shit out of luck, but unfortunately for her…the man juice she downed days before found its way to her phantom vagina. You know what they say–abstinence is the only way to prevent pregnancy. That, or contraceptives. Thanks, science.
from Discover
“Precisely 278 days later the patient was admitted again to hospital with acute, intermittent abdominal pain. Abdominal examination revealed a term pregnancy with a cephalic fetal presentation. The uterus was contracting regularly and the fetal heart was heard. Inspection of the vulva showed no vagina, only a shallow skin dimple was present below the external urethral meatus and between the labia minora. An emergency lower segment caesarean section was performed under spinal anaesthesia and a live male infant weighing 2800 g was born…
A plausible explanation for this pregnancy is that spermatozoa gained access to the reproductive organs via the injured gastrointestinal tract.”
I guess that’s just the miracle of life…or fate likes to fuck with people. I choose the latter.
Filed under: Ain't Lyin', Fucking Gross, In the News, Loss For Words, Things That Should Actually Concern You
The asshole pictured above offered a female student 100 bones (money, not sex. Well, maybe sex too) to take her clothes off during a make-up exam. You don’t pay a teenage girl $100 to take her clothes off… especially if she’s in front of people. And if she refuses, you definitely don’t offer her a second $100 bill. You let her know ahead of time and offer her something not of monetary value, like a committed relationship or a night of Grey’s Anatomy.
from Bad Jocks News
“A math teacher and girls basketball coach at Heritage High School in Brentwood pleaded not guilty Wednesday to charges that he solicited a female student for sex. Darin Duane Price, 38, of Brentwood, was charged Tuesday with two felonies — contacting a minor to commit a sexual offense and arranging a meeting with a minor to commit a sexual offense — and one misdemeanor count of annoying or molesting a child.
Prosecutor Jon Yamaguchi said the student was taking a makeup exam on Jan. 21 when Price placed a $100 bill on a desk and asked her to disrobe in exchange for the money. When she refused, he laid down a second $100 bill.
When the incident was reported to police the next day, investigators sent Price a text message from the victim’s cell phone and arranged a meeting for sex, Yamaguchi said. He said Price arrived at the meeting location in Brentwood with alcohol, condoms and two $100 bills. On Tuesday, the Heritage High varsity girls basketball team played at Pittsburg High, its first game without Price.”
What a dick move. I hope someone forces him to take his clothes off in jail. And then laugh at his naked, overweight, misshapen body.
Filed under: Keepin it Real Nerdy, Loss For Words, Stuff That's Weird, Things That Should Actually Concern You
It’s not really a venus fly trap so much as it is a mechanism designed to work like a venus fly trap. Nuclear waste is hard as shit to get rid of. There aren’t that many options when it comes to cleaning it up due to its radioactivity and its ability to cause things to mutate, like humans and animals. Ok, that isn’t true, but that shit will kill you…and give you super human abilities. No joke.
from Treehugger
“Researchers have developed a material that opens its pores to let in its intended prey–the radioactive ion cesium–then “snaps shut” to entrap it, according to Science Daily. It’s a Venus Flytrap that eats radioactive waste instead of flies.
The flytrap-like material is evidently a snythetic material made from “layers of a gallium, sulfur and antimony compound,” and was developed by researchers at Northwestern University.
The radioactive ion cesium, found in nuclear waste, is very difficult to clean up. And that’s because the ratio of harmless sodium ions to dangerous radioactive cesium ions is 1,000 to 1. There’s tons more sodium than cesium–one scientist on the project even said that looking for the radioactive material in nuclear waste is “like looking for a needle in a haystack.” But the material the scientists developed turned out to be extremely adept at removing the cesium from a sodium-heavy solution–thanks to its Venus flytrap-like qualities.”
I’m no nuclear scientist, but I’ve seen enough episodes of the Simpsons to know about the dangers of nuclear waste dispense.
