The most threatening sex toy I’ve seen. Can’t say I’d spend $600 to feel extremely awkward.
[theduty.]
A girl, who was in a knife fight with her boyfriend and ex-lover (classy), found out she was pregnant after she realized that her stomach pains were caused by a fucking baby round-housing the shit out of her stomach. How can someone with no reproductive organs still be able to conceive a child? By conventional means, this girl is shit out of luck, but unfortunately for her…the man juice she downed days before found its way to her phantom vagina. You know what they say–abstinence is the only way to prevent pregnancy. That, or contraceptives. Thanks, science.
from Discover
“Precisely 278 days later the patient was admitted again to hospital with acute, intermittent abdominal pain. Abdominal examination revealed a term pregnancy with a cephalic fetal presentation. The uterus was contracting regularly and the fetal heart was heard. Inspection of the vulva showed no vagina, only a shallow skin dimple was present below the external urethral meatus and between the labia minora. An emergency lower segment caesarean section was performed under spinal anaesthesia and a live male infant weighing 2800 g was born…
A plausible explanation for this pregnancy is that spermatozoa gained access to the reproductive organs via the injured gastrointestinal tract.”
I guess that’s just the miracle of life…or fate likes to fuck with people. I choose the latter.
Filed under: Ain't Lyin', Foreign Things, Fucking Gross, People Who are Bat Shit Insane, Retarded Things
Besides having lots of sex, Jacob Zuma, the 69 year old president of South Africa, likes to show the world how to be a bad friend. A prime example? It has been reported that Zuma has fathered his 20th child with a friend’s daughter. Someone just lost his bro’s number in his bro book.
from Telegraph
“His latest offspring, a girl, was reported on Sunday to have been born in October to Sonono Khoza, 39, the divorced daughter of Irvin Khoza, according to the country’s Sunday Times newspaper. Mr Khoza is the chairman of the organising committee for the football World Cup finals to be held in South Africa later this year.
The newspaper said the girl’s name was registered as Thandekile Matina Zuma.
The paper said that the Khoza family were not happy about the liaison – Mr Khoza is six years younger than the president – and a delegation from the president had visited them to discusss inhlawulo, the customary Zulu damages payable when a child is born out of wedlock.”
I think every leader needs to have some sort of saucy propaganda during his time in office, otherwise no one is going to remember who the fuck they are. I would have suggested that Jacob Zuma save a village from a pack of Tigers, using nothing but his bare hands and the skills his father taught him. Or a blowgun.
Filed under: Ain't Lyin', Fucking Gross, In the News, Loss For Words, Things That Should Actually Concern You
The asshole pictured above offered a female student 100 bones (money, not sex. Well, maybe sex too) to take her clothes off during a make-up exam. You don’t pay a teenage girl $100 to take her clothes off… especially if she’s in front of people. And if she refuses, you definitely don’t offer her a second $100 bill. You let her know ahead of time and offer her something not of monetary value, like a committed relationship or a night of Grey’s Anatomy.
from Bad Jocks News
“A math teacher and girls basketball coach at Heritage High School in Brentwood pleaded not guilty Wednesday to charges that he solicited a female student for sex. Darin Duane Price, 38, of Brentwood, was charged Tuesday with two felonies — contacting a minor to commit a sexual offense and arranging a meeting with a minor to commit a sexual offense — and one misdemeanor count of annoying or molesting a child.
Prosecutor Jon Yamaguchi said the student was taking a makeup exam on Jan. 21 when Price placed a $100 bill on a desk and asked her to disrobe in exchange for the money. When she refused, he laid down a second $100 bill.
When the incident was reported to police the next day, investigators sent Price a text message from the victim’s cell phone and arranged a meeting for sex, Yamaguchi said. He said Price arrived at the meeting location in Brentwood with alcohol, condoms and two $100 bills. On Tuesday, the Heritage High varsity girls basketball team played at Pittsburg High, its first game without Price.”
What a dick move. I hope someone forces him to take his clothes off in jail. And then laugh at his naked, overweight, misshapen body.
Filed under: Ain't Lyin', Foreign Things, Fucking Gross, Loss For Words, Stuff That's Weird
And the nightmares start…
[via]
“The lamb’s head had human features on – the eyes, the nose and the mouth – only the ears were those of a sheep.
Veterinaries said that the rare mutation most likely occurred as a result of improper mutation since the fodder for the lamb’s mother was abundant with vitamin A,CNNTurk.com reports.”
Looks like I’ll sleeping with the lights on…again.
Turkey wrapped in a bacon blanket. Healthy. Hit the via link for the full gallery.
[via]
“Yvonne and I celebrate ‘Orphan Christmas’ every year. We get all of our dirtbag student friends that can’t afford to go see their families for the holidays and try to eat ourselves to death. Part of the tradition is getting an excessively sized (20lbs this year) turkey and completely baconating it. This year we wove it a blanket so it wouldn’t get cold in the oven. It also maximizes bacon coverage while eliminating bacon slippage.
Yvonne is a master bacon weaver. Girl’s got skills. “
Filed under: Ain't Lyin', Fucking Gross, Things That Should Actually Concern You
[via]
Filed under: Foreign Things, Fucking Gross, In the News, Loss For Words, Obvious
Caster Semenya is South Africa’s new freak of nature. She’s incredibly fast, running a 1:56.72 in the 800 m. Holy shit. But there are speculations as to what her true gender is. Look at her. There’s nothing about her that resembles a woman. Her muscles are bulging out of her two piece. This is one girl I wouldn’t want to see in a bikini, or encounter in a dark alley.
[via]
“BERLIN — South Africa’s track and field federation had been asked to conduct a gender test on an 800-meter runner amid concerns she does not meet the requirements to compete as a woman.
Eighteen-year-old Caster Semenya is a favorite in Wednesday’s 800 final at the world championships.
The world track and field federation requested the gender test about three weeks ago, after Semenya burst onto the scene by improving her personal bests in the 800 and 1,500 by huge margins.”
No doubt about it. She’s a dude.
Filed under: Ain't Lyin', Foreign Things, Fucking Gross, Loss For Words, Neat Things
I never knew plants could be such assholes. I get goosebumps by looking at that picture–I feel like it’s on me. Or I’m in it. That wasn’t a sexual reference…unless you want it to be. You getting turned on too? Oh, yea me neither.
[via]
“Scientists have discovered a flesh-eating plant so large that it can swallow and devour rats whole. They are lured into its slipper-like mouth to drown or die of exhaustion before being slowly dissolved by digestive enzymes.
Natural history explorer Stewart McPherson, who runs Redfern Natural History Productions, discovered the plant during an expedition to Mount Victoria in the Philippines, with fellow botanists Alastair Robinson and Volker Heinrich.
The plant, a member of the ‘pitcher’ family, grows more than 4ft long. The team said in a statement: ‘That one of the largest carnivorous plants has remained undiscovered until the 21st century is remarkable.”
If I ever intend on going to the Philippines, I’ll be sure to wear my steel toed boots. No, I don’t own a pair. At least not yet.
